![]() ![]() In your younger years you probably chose a safe job instead of pursuing your dream job and you probably realized early on that the "loves of your life" were too consuming, too unstable, so you settled in for a "working relationship". so, each day you take the long way home, you isolate yourself, ("when you are not around, who is left to blame" has a twofold meaning, you are less around others who despise you but by allowing your inner self to detach from your life's reality, you also feel less inner criticism). "kill" your spirit, allow it to depart from reality, day by day, little by little, and to retreat into a secluded dream land, in which your spirit, your thoughts, can live in their own alternate reality for as long as you can sustain your body. ![]() Once the realization that you have been living a "wrong story" becomes solid inside you and you know that you no more have the stamina, the willpower to change your story, which manifests as a feeling that you "no more have time left", you are faced with the prospect of ending your suffering by terminating yourself. by turning yourself into "part of the furniture".
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